i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
