I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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