so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
