Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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