do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
