Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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