This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
