this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i think my cat just said my name.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
God, I missed his penis.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
