When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
