sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
