Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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