I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
