why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
