So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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