Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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