Your face is a jimmy john
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
