I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
