my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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