I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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