Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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