last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize