its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I came so hard my ears popped.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
