i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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