the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
