Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
