dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
