just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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