and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
