No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
