He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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