Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
