Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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