hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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