he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
