we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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