That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You just made me feel so damn special
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
