dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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