booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
