i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
