I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
