god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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