dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
