marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
