is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
