I've blown a few things in my day
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
