you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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