I hate all girls vehemently.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
