Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
