i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
