he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
