I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
